I've been meaning to write this post for a long time but never really had the time to do it. 
It's about a lecture I went to this semester in my adult aging class
 (who would have known this class would have been so amazing? not me that's for sure!)
My professor is a Marriage and Family Therapist and gave the lecture on what else?...


I've wanted to write this because I think there are too many blog posts and facebook statuses about how wonderful everyone's husband is
(which I am guilty of)
and not enough on the truth of what marriage really is like.
Don't get me wrong I love being married and Clark is down right the man of my dreams as well as my best friend, 
But I just want to be honest here.
We fight and we have problems.
I know there are couples out there who don't and that is wonderful
but in reality I think a lot do.
That's just what happens when you put two completely different people into one new life.

As a result of husbands being portrayed as knights in shining armor 24/7
girls sit there and think...
their husband doesn't love them as much as other husbands love their wives
their husband isn't as good as other men out there.
Which leads to one of the largest problems today
Which has become EXTREMELY prevalent in the world as well as in the Mormon culture
and especially here at BYU.

I am probably one of the largest advocates of preventing divorce as my parents are divorced and I have seen many ugly and painful things as a result of it.


The three most effect ways to maintain a strong marriage
1. Commitment
Commitment is THE most important principle in marriage. Which when you think about it, makes a lot of sense. 
What does this mean? 
It means you and/or your spouse are doing the things you have said you are going to do. It means being able to rely upon each other and trust in your relationship with each other.
How do you develop this?
Set goals for yourself and make sure to hold yourself accountable for them.
Be straight forward, honest and a person of integrity. 
Make the person who you are on the inside match with the person you are on the outside. 
Do what you say you are going to do because you want to do it. 
When commitment is the most important principle in your life it leaves divorces as nothing, absolutely not an option.

2. Forgiveness
Because marriage is hard at times and we all make mistakes we HAVE to be forgiving of each other.
This forgiveness can actually be a gift for our spouse as well as for us in that we don't need to be using the negative energy of holding grudges and can put that energy to better use. 
It allows for ourselves and our spouse to:
Get back on track 
(because every single marriage gets off track every now and then)
A fresh start
It gives you the ability to change and to move forward

3. Work
Every marriage takes work to be successful, just like any good, fulfilling thing in life. 
Do something to try and improve your marriage every single day.
The joy of marriage really is the journey of it and of working hard at it. 
Don't let your marriage turn into just being the word.
A lot of people can say they are married (because they don't want a divorce) yet live two completely separate lives. 
Be stubborn for the good things in  your life. Make it work because you feel strong about it and don't settle for less. 

I 100% think if we all (and by all I mean husbands and wives) tried harder at these people would be happier in their lives and marriages.

One of the most genuine and sincere examples of what apologies should be like from the movie Fireproof

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