WE CAN ALL BE BETTER AT THIS

I've been thinking about this for a while but haven't quite known how to say it... or bring it up. Regardless of my awkwardness what I want to talk about is the speculation of pregnancy in our society and how I think it is generally not ok.

First, let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a highly emotional person. When I am happy I am happy, when I am sad I am sad. I am mostly always feeling some kind of emotion pretty intensely and have an incredibly hard time masking it. I am sensitive but along with that I am empathetic. Since I have been married, for the past two and a half years, my emotions have heightened and I now cry at everything - happy, sad, scary, tender... you name it and my eyes start swelling. This has not been an occurrence that started a couple of weeks ago, I have seriously been quite emotional for the past two and a half years ... but relatively emotional my whole life. That's just me.

Want to know more about me? I love food and I love eating. I am not one of those girls who counts calories or really watches what I eat. I am what you call an "intuitive eater". When I see food in front of my face that looks good, I will take it. When I want a second, or third or forth helping because I am still hungry I am going to go for it. I love tasting food so I think about eating a lot. I have been really lucky with my genetics that have allowed me to get away with being this way. Lindsay worries that I will become what you call "skinny fat" - one who eats anything and all they want, looks skinny but will become unhealthy as they get older because they aren't use to taking care of their body. I assure you, I do not munch on crap while I am sitting at my desk at work, I do limit myself to stay away from "emotional eating or thoughtless eating" but I do absolutely love eating when good food is in front of my face and I am hungry. I crave weird random things but you know what, I have always been this way. That's just me.

Lastly, I love surprises. I love trying to surprise people and I love when people try and surprise me. I have always been this way. When it comes to blogging/social media I like trying to have catchy titles that draw one's eye to my post and I like having surprises so that readers will come back. I don't know if it works but these are my intentions. That's just me.

What do all three of these things have in common? They are "symptoms" of being pregnant. So naturally I have had a lot of people ask me or straight up tell me they think I am pregnant - as if they understand what's going on with my body better than I do. Though this may bother people I actually think it is hilarious. It is so funny to me how people will make these predictions about me, thinking they are helping me out by telling me I "must be pregnant". The other day one of my friends mentioned to me that she thinks I like trying to make people think I am pregnant because her mom asked her if I was regarding something I put on here.

The truth is I honestly am not at all trying to trick people into thinking and guessing that I could possibly be expecting a baby. I type things up, post them and realize after the fact... oh great... now people are going to think I am pregnant from this. But the funny thing about the situation is I have always been this way. I have always expressed myself in these ways listed above because that's just me. The problem with the situation is I am graduated from college. I have been married for two and a half years. And I am Mormon. I get the idea that all these people who ask me if I am pregnant are just waiting expecting this next step in my life to happen. Because this is what is "suppose" to happen now. This is the only thing that I could possibly surprise people about or the only reason why I tend to be emotional. Right? No, not right. I am still so young. I am only 23. My husband is still in school and I am the sole provider for us financially. Though I am so excited to eventually have kids and become a mom, that is not the only thing that defines me. And frankly does not define me at all during this stage of my life yet.

I am not upset at any of you. I am ok with you all still asking me if I am pregnant. Why? Because it is funny to me that everyone seems to be waiting for this piece of information from me. And ultimately because I am not trying to have a baby. So I am ok with it because it is not even on my mind. What I don't want people to think is that I am trying to trick everyone out there. I am not. Like I keep on saying - This is just me. This is who I am and how I have always expressed myself.

What wouldn't be ok though is if I really was trying to have a baby. If Clark and I were having infertility problems and yet people were pouncing on any kind of indication that we could be pregnant. That hurts people. The pain of not being able to get pregnant is probably hard enough but having people constantly question whenever the possibility seems to arise must make it 100 times worse. Our society needs to understand that this is not ok. It is rude and insensitive of people's lives and personal information. I don't want anyone to think I am condemning you... I am equally guilty of  wondering if someone could be pregnant. But we need to change. We need to be respectful to people and consider this is a sensitive topic that should really only be talked about once the person announces that they are expecting.